Adventures in America

A box of wine or a can of cheese anyone?

I had been on the road for what seemed like ages. I checked the clock-stereo. Damn, a full seven minutes already. The drive was the worst. Slowly the incandescent lights were replaced by the gritty, grimy glitz of neon. On the distance I spotted it. The lights blinked fast and slow, red, blue, and orange. I had made it to the landmark, as famous as the neon cowboy from that other strip – It was the signpost at the Ypsi-Arbor Bowl. I had finally hit the big-time.

Down the street I was an expected VIP at a posh and exclusive residence. I knew the wine list would be extensive, if not impressive – and my instincts weren’t off. The night started on a wild note: Hawaiian Blue Wine. This place was high class up to its arm-pits.

They even borrowed wine glasses for the occasion. Women battled the men in the ultimate gamble – and won on account of that illustrious celeb Mr. Tom Cruise. We kicked him to the curb and won our liberation; we ate our weight in cheese and cinnamon rolls. I don’t kid about these serious matters; like I said – it was one classy affair.

I ended the night with that damn interminable drive home, a few pounds heavier, a lot sleepier, and with the scent of freshly sprung dog (and Jess) farts lining my nostrils. Like all good hosts, I was left with a memento from the night.

posted by Melissa @ 10:51 PM